22 March 2012

The light at the end of the tunnel

Day 11 | where I sleep #janphotoaday

I have not posted for a few days because, well, I did not really have anything nice to write.
I've been feeling a little down the last few days and struggling with bed rest. I'm so bored, I'm so lonely and my neck and back are killing from lying in bed all day, every day.

I also feel like the light at the end of the tunnel just keeps getting further away. If you have been reading my blog for a while you will know that I spent every second of last year desperately trying to fall pregnant.. It was all I wanted. But, once I finally fell pregnant I became consumed with the fear of having another miscarriage and wondering if I would get through the surgery. Then we made it through the surgery and now I just wish that I could get to 30 weeks and be over the 'risky' stage of the pregnancy and be that little bit closer to having a healthy full-term baby in my arms.

Tom thinks that we should be so happy at the moment (I have no idea how that man manages to remain  so optimistic 24 hours a day.. seriously, he does not stop for a minute) because I am pregnant (!!) and we got through the stitch. The hard part is over.. all I have to do now is rest and my Ob is pretty confident that with the stitch and bed rest we have an excellent chance of everything turning out perfectly.

I think that I may just have way to much time on my hands at the moment.. Too much time to think and too much time to worry. There are only so many hours of the day you can spend watching Offspring.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

hey katie,
You are doing so well. It must be so hard to have to do nothing all day. That would be enough to send me crazy, let along having to worry about a baby too. Thinking of you. and praying that this baby will be healthy.
x

Jess @ Caffeine and Tutus said...

I'm sure this is not new advice, but perhaps making a list of things you could only have the time for to do now- during this unique period-could help? Things like making up photo albums, studying, learning a new language, sewing, reading all the penguin classics ect...
I'm thinking of you! xx

Susan said...

bed rest sucks!! I think I watched everything on ABC iview when I was trapped in bed - and I was only on bed rest for a few weeks!!! Maybe some hand quilting could pass a few more hours... although maybe that would drive you even more crazy!! Sending positive thoughts your way!

Margot said...

Oh I can imagine... too much time to think = too much time to worry for me too. Lots of love in this difficult journey.

Amanda said...

It must be so frustrating - do you just have to rest in bed or lie down on your back the whole time? I know what you mean about just wanting to hold your precious bub in your arms, I felt the same after so many years of wanting a baby and when I was pregnant, all I wanted was to get to that 'safe point', that was without all the added difficulties you're having to deal with so I can imagine how hard it must be. Thinking of you and sending you big hugs x

Wire and White said...

My thoughts are with you. I expect you'll experience plenty of good and bad days during this time. Have you tried knitting or crochet. Perhaps you could make a baby blanket.

little miss olive said...

i understand the worry...how it increases and then decreases..comes in waves. you are doing such a great job -- i can only imagine how hard it would be to be on constant bedrest.

have you seen 'pretty little liars'? it's pretty (ha) teenage probably rubbish, but i watched the first episode and was totally hooked! plus there's over 22 episodes so it would give you something else to think about for a while (it's a 'who did it?' show)

also, something like 'an idiot abroad' might take your mind off things. have you read 'the hunger games' trilogy? i couldn't put those books down!

thinking of you.

Caitlin said...

I second the Hunger Games!

joanna said...

I am just glad you are well, Katie - since you hadnt posted for a while, feared the worst!! I understand your frustration....no real solutions other than what others have suggested and maybe more blogging - its your space so feel free to vent/talk about anything/post maybe about your life pre-baby/etc etc...whatever! Stay well and grow that beautiful baby - it will be so worth it in the end and you certainly wont get any bed-rest once the new one arrives xxx

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