13 March 2012

Adjusting

Sophie

A few people have asked how Sophie is adjusting to having a mummy who spends 24 hours a day in bed. It has been an adjustment but we are all doing as well as any family can I guess.

The last year or so has been difficult for Sophie. She had only just turned 3 when Grace died and could not really comprehend what had happened. For months afterwards she would ask questions like "Mummy, why did our baby die?" or worse "Mummy, when I grow up will my baby die too?" or "Mummy, why do all my friends have a little brother or sister to play with, but I don't?" For months afterwards she would draw pictures of our family with four people "mummy, daddy, me and the baby that died".

We have always tried to be as honest as we can about what happened and try to remind her that one day she will have a little brother or sister, it just takes some mums and dads longer than others. Yesterday she asked me if she will "have to lie in bed to help her baby grow" when she grows up. The poor little thing.. It is all very confusing for a 4 year old.

The funny thing is that I actually get to spend more quality time with Sophie now than I ever had before. I have nothing to do, nowhere to go and I can sit her with her for hours reading books and doing puzzles. I find it amazing how little quality time I spent with her before. We were always doing things, had somewhere to be, playdates, dinner to cook, cleaning to do, and apart from a few stories before bed I rarely sat down and just read stories, played games with her and listened to her tales about her day.

It's quite nice really.

8 comments:

lily boot said...

I can well imagine the loveliness of this time. I've always been much more of a reading, drawing, making, puzzles and games sort of mum and as you've pointed out, with all those other distractions gone you have such a wonderful opportunity to spend cosy hours with your wee girl. Nice that its coming into winter too - hopefully you'll have lots of rain and cold windy days to create whole worlds upon your bed!

one yellow jumpsuit. said...

It must be so wonderful to have that time together, with no distractions and nothing to do but read stories and be together. I also agree with Lily Boot and hope that you have beautiful cold, rainy winter days to create beautiful worlds on your bed.

Tammi said...

Sometimes I think it's easy to overlook the impact that something like this has on the little people in our lives. It's lovely that you and Sophie are spending such wonderful quality time together :)
x

Anonymous said...

A perfect time to live purely and simply in the moment (like children do every day, a constant reminder us that we need to embrace it more) and forget, albeit temporarily, the burdens that weigh us down. Enjoy this very special time.
Katie

Lizeylou said...

Sophie sounds like such a gorgeous girl. Happy that you are enjoying your time together. I wish I got more time just to hang out with my kids rather than always rushing to get to places.

joanna said...

what a lovely time for the three of you....you, sophie and her new sibling to bond and just be together in a calm way! What a gift all round (even though I'm sure it is also difficult for you!) xx

Laura said...

Sophie sounds like such a wonderful child. It's great that you can spend some really excellent quality time with her. You and your family are in my thoughts. Take care and be well! xx

Megan said...

I've recently come across your blog but have never commented before, but this post really struck a chord. I have just been thinking about how little 'quality' time I feel like I've been spending with my 3 and 8 year olds. Even though I don't have to stay put, like you do at the moment, you've really inspired me to make this time a priority in my day, rather than squeezing it in around all the other things we do in our day. Also, if you're looking for things to do, I've found some lovely things here -rosylittlethings.typepad.com. I've bought the daisychain sampler, I just haven't found the time to start it yet! Wishing you all the best for your pregnancy.

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