Last week I had an acupuncture appointment where my acupuncturist told me that it's very important to remain as calm and stress free as possible around ovulation. (Apparently they did a study and proved that the mental state of the mother can affect conception.. Hmm.)
So, the next day I went to a Christmas festival and while Sophie was playing giant chess with her friends I turned around and said something to my friend and when I looked back Sophie was gone. GONE. I spent the next 15 minutes running around like a crazy woman yelling at the top of my lungs. The police were called. I was certain she had been kidnapped and then finally the police found her. Worst 15 minutes of my life (almost).
The day after that I had a terrible car accident. I was waiting at the lights when a car ran into the back of me at 70km an hour and I then hit the car in front. I spent the whole weekend in bed with the worst back pain. I have had chiro appointments, physio appointments and remedial massage and I can now move my head. Woo hoo.
Then I saw my fertility doctor who told me that I should just sit tight for the next 2 months and we can start fertility treatment again in February (I think it's because he wants to go on Christmas holidays) and that made me unhappy.
Then I did another pregnancy test and it was negative. Again.
And then I cried.
(Random photo. At least it's strawberry season!)
13 comments:
Katie, life has to get better for you soon. What a week you have had. I can not begin to imagine how you are feeling, hang in there 2011 is nearly over and 2012 has got to be better! My thoughts are with you.
:( man that's a crap week
Here's really hoping you get a better 2012 for Christmas. You must be counting down the days til your worst year ever is over.
What a horrid week. I hope it turns around soon and that the new year comes quickly with a bright new start and many smiles.
Oh goodness what a horrible week!! After looking after countless women who have got pregnant at the most stressful times of their lives (difficult financial circumstances, difficult relationships, alcohol and drug related problems etc etc...) I really don't believe you need to be "stress-free" or "zenned out" for a baby to come. Well meaning people will tell you that this is the space you need to be in...but honestly, although we know that being happy and healthy is good for you, it's not necessary for fertility. Babies just come. Which is awfully annoying when waiting takes so long...But it's a relief that you and your body don't need to be perfect for it to happen. I hope it happens soon!
Oh Sophie, that is just shitty, shitty, shitty and you don't need that.
The car accident sounds horrific, and I hope you are ok. It's rattling, and you don't need that on top of everything else.
I really, really hope and pray that 2012 is an amazing and bright year for you. You deserve it. You deserve such goodness.
Roll on New Year! (But not before the joy of seeing Sophie on Christmas day (that's what I am hanging out for!) - LOVE!). x
Bloody single lines...heartbreaking. Sometimes life will not flow no matter how much we want it to. And yes it sux big time that there are women out there who can fall pregnant at a drop of a hat when they are stressed/on drugs/drink/generally unfit to be mothers. And if that sounds bitter - its only because I think I understand some of your pain all too well. Here's hoping and praying that 2012 will be kinder and that little baby spirit out there will come home to rest and grow....xx
That gone moment is indescribable. You poor poor mama. 2011 has been unfathomably unkind to you. You deserve a wonderfully precious 2012. xx
Eugh, I hate the advice that you have to be stress free to get pregnant! I don't believe it! They tell you that and of course it just makes you more stressed.. its ridiculous advice! Stressed people get pregnant.
I'm so sorry to hear about your awful week. I hope you're feeling better. I've lost Piper twice, but it was only for 10 seconds, so I can't imagine how frightful it would have been to lose Sophie for 15 minutes. I hope everything turns around soon. Love Hannah xxx
What an awful horrible week for you :( Car accidents are really scary, let alone all those things together in one week. I really hope that back improves and hoping February gives you some good news xo
it happened to me just last week, all these feelings came at me all at once and i thought 'it only took two seconds'. ten minutes later and my son appeared out of nowhere! i really do wish the best for you in 2012.
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Thanks for your comment.. It is nice to know that there is someone out there (other than my husband) reading my posts! Xx