23 February 2012
Life is good.
A few months ago I had a bit of a breakdown. Not a serious breakdown, but just a particular day when I felt overwhelmed with life.
I had just finished a month of 'monitoring' at the fertility clinic where they had tested my hormone levels almost every single day and told me exactly when I ovulated. I was sure that this was going to be the month. The month I finally fell pregnant, but when half a dozen tests showed negative at the end of the month I was feeling pretty low. And just like every other week, I had about 3 close friends tell me they were pregnant. I felt like it was never going to be my turn and I cried.
Tom, as usual, gave me a big hug and (in his usual motivation speech kind-of-way) said "Baby, it will be your turn soon.. you just have to be patient" then continued "Life is going to be good. No.. life is good. We will find a nice house, we will fill it with babies. We have so much to look forward to in our lives.. We will do nice things, read good books, eat good food, travel the world. Get some chickens" and went on to paint a picture of the life we will create.
I nodded my head. He was right as always. Things were going to be good. Things were ALREADY good.
As Tom walked off I quickly scribbled down what he had said, kind of like a reminder for me when I felt down.
So for Christmas a few months ago, with the help of Tom's architect sister (who has access to a large printer) I made this poster for Tom.
Tom's sisters gave me so much shit for this poster, but Tom thought it was great.. although when I asked him if he would actually hang it up in our new home he said "Um, yeah, maybe in the study" (Where no one can see it)!
P.s I have decided to close comments on this post. I have never had to do this before but I am not strong enough to deal with negative comments at the moment. I will leave it open for a few more days in case anyone wants to add anything. And remember.. please be nice.
P.p.s Joanna Goddard (A cup of Jo) wrote a wonderful post about depression the other day. Please head over and have a read.