03 April 2012



I read so many stories of women who have discovered their creative side after having kids, almost like motherhood re-wired their brains in some way. This was defiantly me.
While I had an appreciation for art and design before having Sophie, I was far from considering myself a creative person. It was only after Sophie was born that I realised that I could actually make things -myself.

I learnt how to sew and knit and embroider and I fell in love with the incredible satisfaction that comes with making something yourself. And I would feel such a sense of pride when people would ask where I got the pretty top that Sophie was wearing and I could say "I made it myself".

I knew as soon as I started sewing that I would love to be able to start a little business one day selling the things I make at the local markets. The desire was not to make money or share my talents (at this stage I could barely sew a straight line) but I just loved the idea of having my own little shop market stall full of things that I had made. There was no rush, obviously I had to get much better at sewing first, but the idea was never far from my mind.

Life, of course, had other plans and over the next few years I spent all my energy trying to fall pregnant and then trying to stay pregnant, trying to fall pregnant, trying to stay pregnant. Again and again.
After Grace died and I was having trouble falling pregnant again I needed something to take my mind of things. (There was no use going back to work because we kept thinking that I would be pregnant again soon and we knew that I would be on bed rest). Sophie had started pre-school 2 days a week and I told myself that I needed those 2 days to myself to nurture myself (so to speak) and take the time to heal and work through the grief.

I would spend my days at home, taking myself out for coffee or spending a large percentage of my husband's wage at the local fabric store. I told myself that it was good for me to have some time-out but in reality, those two days without Sophie were an excuse for me to wallow.

So, I decided that something had to be done. I could not sit around any longer just waiting to fall pregnant with my life on hold until I did. (I remember when we moved to Perth and I made an appointment to see an obstetrician that deals with high risk pregnancy and the receptionist told me that the next appointment was in 4 months time. I called Tom and told him about the wait and he said "Well that's okay.. you will be pregnant by then". That was more than a year ago.)

I put a small amount of money aside for my little business and set to work.. researching fabric suppliers,   making samples, getting labels made etc. Again, I had no plans to make money or have a proper business, it was just an excuse for me to spend all my spare time sewing and to make kids clothes that I liked. I was getting very excited at the end of last year to see it all starting to come together when..
I fell pregnant. (Of course!)

Last month I packed away all the fabric, patterns, clothes and labels. Packed away my sewing machine and overlocker and shelved that dream for 'someday'.

*Of course, I am not upset that this plan is on hold at all.. I will get to it one day and in the meantime I am very busy doing much more important things.. growing a baby!


joanna said...

I was just thinking of the name of your blog the other day - and how appropriate it is as you are growing the very best creation possible! Some things (like struggling to become pregnant etc) seem to have their own flow and no matter how much we try, life has other plans. And I understand too how you must have needed time to grieve - and probably still do.Your market stall will be filled with lovely things one day and surrounded by your children. xxx

Anonymous said...

What a lovely dream to have for the future; but yes you definitely have more important things to take care of for now :)

Whilst I know you are obviously bed ridden, however I'de love to know more about the times that you can get up, how do you shower / brush your teeth, are you meeting your Doctor at home or can you manage that appointment only, are you having ultrasounds etc along the way, can you still exercise at all while in bed). I know these questions sound silly, but it would be great to know how you are managing with some of the simpler things :)

potts.family said...

It's lovely to read your regular posts and check in on you. Secretly I was always hoping that snow pea would have to go on the back burner (I did post that comment some time ago). Glad to hear that your dream is on hold, the bigger picture is so much better!
Take care and best wishes.

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