Henry is 6 weeks old.
It feels like he has been here forever. My days of bedrest feel like a lifetime ago but at the same time the last 6 weeks have flown by.
I am not going to lie, the last months has been a little difficult at times. Not because I am finding it hard having a newborn and dealing with sleepless nights (Henry is an absolute sweetheart!), but because Sophie has turned into an absolute rat-bag!
She has become the most difficult and disobedient little thing I have ever seen! I completely understand that it is a normal reaction to having a new sibling and that it must be extra hard for a little girl who has had her parents all to herself for almost 5 years (not to mention the fact that we moved house and changed her school just 2 weeks before Henry was born so there has been alot of big changes for the poor girl).
I am embarrassed to admit that instead of being patient and understanding towards her, I have turned into one of those mums that just bark orders at their kid and I have never yelled at her so much in my whole life! I have lost my cool more times than I would like to admit. I know that what she needs is more time alone with me and a little bit of understanding, but I have found it hard to remember that when she is throwing books at my head while I am trying to feed Henry. (Not joking).
All I can say is thank god the school holidays are over!
Of course it's not all 'nightmare-child' and 'cranky-pants mum' around here.. There are plenty of lovely moments and Sophie is getting better and better everyday (adjusting to life with a little brother I guess)..
She does adore Henry and often almost suffocates him with cuddles!
Here is a photo to prove it..
12 comments:
Hi! Nice to read all about what's happening to ypu and your family. Glad you had time again to do a post.
Hello!I've done a post regarding my son's sibling rivalry issue.I had a hard time dealing with my eldest son relationship to his younger brother that makes me insane. They are six years apart. Writing about it and knowing feed backs from the readers makes me relieve and understand. So somehow I know where you came from. Now I just love to have a day with them just the two of us whoever is free just to have the time to open up ourselves to one another and bond. Hope and pray you can surpass this like any mother does. This is really one essence of Motherhood.:)
Kisses to your kiddos. They are so precious!
<3,
Angie
audrinajulia.blogspot.com
I think that going from one child to two is one of the hardest things - emotionally - for both mother and firstborn. And no one keeps their cool all the time, especially not when they have things being thrown at them (or their baby). It can be hard to find the time, but I used to find just curling up together in bed to read a story at the end of each day (while the baby slept or was held in Dad's arms) worked wonders. As does a sling you can breastfeed in, so your arms are free for your older child. I was always glad that at least the negative and confusing emotions were directed at me, and not the bundle of innocence at the root of it all. May it all settle down for you soon. xx
It will get easier, try to take her out for a baby cino and leave Henry with dad. It's so hard when you have a perfect little bundle in your arms, you do tend to notice the naughty things a bit more than you would've in the past. Totally normal and she'll be fine.
LM x
It's bloody hard. You're not alone that's for sure. Might be even harder given you've been waiting for this time, time with a bigger family for so long. Be kind on yourself, you are doing your best.
"An absolute rat-bag" cracked me up. I am sure that's how my parents described me when my brother was born.
Congrats to you and your beautiful family! Sounds like life should start to settle in soon.
Katie, what a gorgeous photo.
My 2 cents worth are I think it is the age too. My oldest is the same age as Sophie and boy I boy I do like the little person she is at times. Apparently this is the age that little people try to flex their muscles. We have already adjusted to the new baby so we don't have the excuse!
Go easy on yourself - also if you find any good tricks let me know! I have tried EVERYTHING and nothing seems to work long term.
Good luck, kym
So lovely to see them together, what a tender sweet moment you have captured. Such a precious time! I also think some of that ratty behaviour is down to the age as well - but maybe trying some one-on-one time would help. Even if it is just to read a story together or do some craft or some baking -- easier said than done, I know, when you've got two little persons' needs to juggle.
Katie
What a beautiful sight... great photo Katie and it is so wonderful to see you all together up and about.
My two-cents-worth is an "energetic" and spiritual suggestion for her negative emotions, as we are energetic beings and not everything is always logical. The "unseen" parts of us are far more powerful that what is seen I assure you.
To me (someone who works with evolved children)she seems to be feeling a little unsettled energetically. It's like she just needs her energetic field tightened and her internal bond with you supported, as she is still very much protected by your energetic field.
As the saying goes..."where your attention goes, your energy follows".
When your attention and energy goes elsewhere (as it has needed to), so does her spiritual connection and protection that she is use to receiving from you. So it is a little like she is out in the cold a little at a spiritual level.
All that is needed to tighten this is for her is to just once again protect Soph with your energy, and to assure her energetic field that she "is safe", and that "you (mum) are in control and leading."
My suggestion would be...imagine in your mind's eye the most stunning, bright and powerful white light. This is the highest light. Now literally imagine that white light pouring down straight from the highest point in the sky, and have it enter in the top of her head (crown chakra) and allow it to fill her entire body with this stunning white light. Totally fill her up with this light while also assuring her energetic body that she is "safe, protected and guided, and that she no longer needs to try to lead as you are leading with Dad, she is safe now." Then also totally surround Sophie with white light around her body as well, this will also make her feel safe and not so on her own energetically.
I assure you this works wonders, and you can do it as much as you want or need - even if she is not near you you can do this.
Just a suggestion, and let me know if you want to know any more :)
Sending much love and patience your way!
xoxo
To me "ratbags" is an affectionate term used by my dad (similar to "scallywag') so it has good connotations for me - however it sounds like your patience is being tried for sure.
Maybe Sophie needs some more responsibilities? I am the eldest of four with 11 years between us all. I can remember my worst behaviour (I would've been a bit older than Sophie) was when I felt like I wasn't being noticed when I'd done something 'good'. (It has then taken me a long time to shrug off that need to please and do the "good" thing and listen to my inner wants). Some quality mother/daughter time; some quality father/daughter time .. maybe even quality Mum/dad/sophie time while H sleeps in the weekend?
from my own past experience of welcoming my youngest sister when I was 11 and my brothers 8 and 5, what I craved the most as the eldest was acknowledgment of my maturity - in some ways a five year old welcoming a newborn into their family is them being confronted by their relative growth and maturity - and maybe that's a bit scary and emotionally unsettling.
I think that all family adjustments are hard on every single member.. but it's a journey and won't last. I'm going to stop this essay of a comment now - but also just wanted to say sophie's face looks a lot like yours in this picture. xx
Hang in there sweet lady! It is such a time of adjustment for everyone. My mum and dad gave us the best advice when we had Remy. They said that in their day no one really gave a second thought to the arrival of a sibling and how it would affect the first born and hence just went about things as if nothing had really changed. We pretty much took this approach , that Remy was here and that was that. We tried to include her as much as possible and really encouraged her to help out in the day to day. She thrived on the responsibility. Take it day by day and as much as possible when you're sleep deprived try to keep calm. Little poppets always seem to match our behaviour. (So not preaching here...I completely understand from experience that this is often impossible!) Take care of yourself. Rest even when you don't feel you need to. Your body has just made magic but with that comes alot of healing and reuvenating. Enjoy watching your babies grow...and grow together. Much love x
Such good advice there from Steph. It can indeed be a rocky time transitioning but like everyone else has said it does get better. And I found including my eldest in looking after the baby was a good thing to do. I have never been one to sleep during the day even with newborns but when my second was born every afternoon when my baby was asleep I would make a cup of tea and put my feet up while I drank it and read a magazine that was my version of a nap and doing that rested me enough so I didn't loose my cool too many times. My boys are now 3 and 6 and I have just his morning lost my cool because we borrowed 10 books from the library yesterday and at 6.30am they were squabbling over the same book!!! Why do they always want the same thing?!! You have this to look forward to :) enjoy xx
I found going from one little one to two and big period of adjustment at first, getting used to dividing my time (hard with a newborn feeding so often) and working out all the 'logistics' of our newly expanded family. I remember Grace being naughty all of a sudden when Sophie arrived, I think it's normal sibling behaviour to feel a bit put out at first. Over time, things settled down and now, it's so lovely to look over and see my two little loves playing sweetly together. Hang in there Katie xx
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