If someone was to ask me what it is like to become a mother, I would tell them that, for me, it was without a doubt, the best thing I have ever done in my life. And the hardest.
I often wonder why no one told me that motherhood was so tough. My mum raised 7 kids. She had 3 kids by the time she was 22 and she never once told me that being a mum can be challenging at the best of times.
Now, meeting Tom and becoming a mother and wife has been the best thing that has ever happened to me. I honestly feel like I was walking around without a clue, without a point to my life, before I met Tom and had Sophie. I know it sounds like the worst cliche ever, but it was like there was a piece of me missing that was only filled by becoming a family. Seriously, I know how wanky that sounds, but that is really how it feels. If anyone reading this knew how much my life has turned around in the last few years they would understand. Every day I get closer to becoming the person that I always dreamed of being.
But, at the same time, motherhood has been the most difficult thing I have ever done. It has pushed me further than I ever thought I could go physically, mentally and emotionally. Sometimes I think that it's because I met Tom, had Sophie and got married all in the same year. Maybe it's because I am about 10 years younger than the average mother or maybe it's because I am just not as naturally good at mothering than other people.. I don't know.
But, you know, Tom and I still plan on having 3 or 4 kids.. Because even on the hardest of days, it is impossible to imagine life without the joy and love and happiness having a little one brings to your life. No matter how hard the day has been, I can still creep into her room at night and feel my eyes well up just holding her little hand in mine and thinking about how happy she makes us.
How hearing her little footsteps run up the corridor every morning and jump on the bed, talking at a million miles an hour about some random event that happened weeks ago, giving us big sloppy kisses and demanding 4 different kinds of breakfast is the best thing in the universe and I would not change it for the world.