The hole in my heart.

It was 2 years ago today that our darling little Grace was stillborn.

I don't know what to say.
It's 2 years of my life that have been filled with so much sadness, and heartbreak and grief. So much longing and so much pain.

She was such a beautiful little baby and I wish more than anything in the world that we got to see her grow up.

4/52

I have finally got around to posting a photo of my kids for 4/52.
(For those who don't follow Jodi's wonderful blog it's where you post a picture of your kids once a week for a year.)

It's such a brilliant idea and it will be so nice to look back over the photos at the end of the year and see just how much they have grown.


'4/52: Future photographer?'

Thirty

Today is my 30th birthday. The big 3.0.
I'm pretty excited about my 30's.. I think its going to be an awesome decade!

Five!

My (not so) little girl turned 5 two days after Christmas. I can not believe that we have a FIVE year old! It seems like it was only yesterday that she was toddling around in a nappy and now she is about to start full time school!

I wish that I could rewind a few years and re-live her 3rd and 4th year all over again. I often worry that I spent that whole time so depressed after losing Grace and then so consumed with trying to fall pregnant again that I was not really the best mother during those years. I was so focused on what I had lost and what I didn't have that I forgot to enjoy the things I did have.. like my beautiful little girl.

Luckily, she has still managed to grow into a gorgeous little girl and even though she has given us a run for our money since Henry was born we still feel so lucky to have her every single day!

Happy birthday my darling girl.. I hope being five is loads of fun! Xx