the pigeon pair

I've been thinking lately about having another baby. Well, not so much about having another baby, but if we will have another baby.. or not.

I always thought we would have another baby one day. Even though after Henry was born I said "I am never doing that again!" I quickly changed my mind once the memory of the birth faded away. But in the last few weeks, I have found myself for the first time, wondering if maybe two is enough for us.

It's funny because during the last year Henry has been a terrible sleeper.. I have barely managed to make it though each day, yet throughout all that time I was still sure that we would do it all again one day.
It was about a month ago that Henry finally started sleeping a bit better and around the same time I wondered, for the first time, if we could actually do it all again. The idea of having another baby became a "maybe" not a "definitely" when people asked. It's almost like things finally started to get a bit easier.. I could see the light at the end of the sleep-deprivation tunnel and I thought.. "I'm not sure if I could do that again".

Some people (like my mum) are shocked that we would even consider having another child. You see.. it's not quite as simple for us as it is for other people (I would need another cervical suture and would possibly be on bed-rest again) not to mention the trouble we have had even falling pregnant.
The other consideration is that I'm just not sure if I could do it all again.. Physically or mentally!
Having babies (the pregnancy, birth, sleepless nights and breastfeeding) seem to leave me feeling like a shell of my former self.. I'm becoming more bedraggled by the day I think!

There is also the environmental point of view that the world is becoming overpopulated and we all need to have less kids not more. My mum is a big believer of this view (even though she popped out half a football team herself! But I guess things were different back then).
I always thought that it was better to have three kids who were brought up to be environmentally conscious than one kids brought up as a thoughtless consumer with no consideration for the environment but I don't know.. maybe my mum is right? (They usually are aren't they?!)

But of course, the amount of joy that babies bring is incomparable and kids really do fill the house with joy (most of the time). Luckily, Tom is happy either way.. he would be happy if we stopped at two and equally happy to have another.. so the ball is really in my court.
I guess that I'm lucky I have time on my side and I don't have to make the decision right this moment.. I can wait and see how I feel in a year or so.

So tell me.. How many kids do you have? How did you know when your family was complete? I'd love to know!

44/52

"A portrait of my children once a week, every week"

Sophie. Henry. That's all.

Playing along with Jodi's 52 project.

Do you play too?

the nursery

I think that some people have a natural talent for taking beautiful photographs. They just seem to pick up a camera and capture an image with the perfect amount of light and at exactly the right angle. Their photographs capture what they see so beautifully.
I, unfortunately, am not one of those people.

So a few months ago I attended 'The Nursery' with photographer Tim Coulson.

I arrived at 10am with my Canon DSLR that I had never taken off the 'automatic' setting. I was feeling pretty nervous (I always am walking into a room full of people that I don't know) but really looking forward to the day ahead.

Tim and Kesh made everyone feel relaxed straight away (they are such lovely people) and as we went around the room and introduced ourselves I realised that most people were in the same boat as me.. they had bought this fancy camera but didn't really know how to use it.

We spent the morning running through the basics of photography, learning how to take the camera off auto and learning a bit about connecting with our subject. After lunch we put our new skills to the test with a little photo shoot outside.

Photography is really an incredible skill to have. Not just as a blogger but as a parent as well and I am so glad I have taken the time to try and learn a little about photography and improve my skills.
I am proud to say that since attending The Nursery I have not taken my camera off manual. Not even once.
Every shot now takes a little more time and sometimes I don't get it right (the photo is almost all white or all black) but I'm slowly learning and I like the fact that I have to think a little more before taking a shot.

Have you attended 'The Nursery'? Do you shoot on 'auto' or 'manual'?

All photos above were taken by me.

43/52

"A portrait of my children once a week, every week"

Sophie: She seems so grown up most of the time, but every so often I catch a glimpse of her still looking like a little girl.

Henry: The only thing cuter than a baby in a wondersuit? A baby in a wondersuit who keeps sitting in a basket!

Playing along with Jodi's '52' project.. Do you play along too?

let's just call it banana cake

I would only be slightly exaggerating if I said that Tom made this banana bread at least once a week.
We always seem to have a pile of brown bananas in the fruit bowl that need using and this recipe is the perfect way to get rid of them. (And I have to admit that having a loaf of banana bread on hand is pretty handy for when people drop in for a cup of tea.)

The first time Tom made this banana bread he said "It's not really banana bread is it? It's more like banana cake" and seemed slightly disappointed at the amount of sugar and butter that went into it (I think he was hoping to convince himself that it was a healthy afternoon tea option) but this recipe is a winner and much better for you than any banana bread you buy at the supermarket.

This recipe is from 'Apples for jam' by Tessa Kiros (one of our favourite cookbooks).

125g butter
180g dark brown sugar
350g (about 4 medium) very ripe bananas, mashed
2 eggs
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 tsp ground cinnamon
250g (2 cups) plain flour
1 tsp baking powder
3/4 tsp baking soda
3 tbsp warm milk

Preheat the oven to 180 degrees celsius.
Butter a 30 x 11cm loaf tin.

Cream the butter and sugar till smooth and whisk in the mashed bananas.
Add the eggs, vanilla, cinnamon and a pinch of salt and whisk in well.

Sieve in the flour and baking powder and beat until smooth.
Mix the baking soda into the milk and stir into the batter.

Scrape the mixture into the tin and bake for about 50 minutes until the bread is crusty on top and a skewer poked in the middle comes out clean.

Turn out onto a rack to cool.
Enjoy with a cup of tea!

Also.. Banana bread freezes really well! Cut it into slices and freeze in a zip-lock bag. When someone pops in unexpectedly for tea just toast it for a minute (until defrosted and warm) and serve! Yum!

stills: a snapshot of my week

I have decided to play along with Em over at The Beetle Shack in her weekly 'stills' collection.
(I only just discovered her gorgeous blog and very glad I did!)

I take so many photos each week as I am still trying to master my DSLR camera, although I am very proud to say that since I attended 'The Nursery' with Tim Coulson a few months ago (more on that another day) I take all my photos on manual (as opposed to just leaving the camera on automatic) which is much more complicated than just switching a button over!

So here are a collection of photos from this week..

1. The rug in front of the couch is surrounded by toys.. most days you can't actually see the rug under all the toys and puzzles! But it's a happy mess.

2. Our dining table is right in the middle of the house. It's where we eat, play, draw and work. It's where I put my bag down when I walk in the door. It's covered in coloured pencil and splatters of last nights spaghetti sauce. It always has a big bowl of fruit in the middle and flowers in a vase.. these ones are picked from our garden!

3. This teapot was given to Tom and I as a wedding present. It says "for life" on the top which I think is nice. Every single morning this teapot gets filled with 2 spoons of loose leaf english breakfast tea and boiling water and two cups of tea get poured a few minutes later. If I make myself a cup and forget about Tom he will say "Are you making divorce tea?" because apparently making tea for yourself and not your husband is behaving like you want a divorce.

4. Poor Henry. I am constantly saying to Sophie "Don't pick him up, please", "Just let him walk on his own", "Be gentle", "He just wants to do this himself.. just let him be!"
Oh it's tough having an adoring big sister!

5. Beetroot bolognese.. It's a winner!

6. When he entertains himself I should take the opportunity to get things done (that pile of dishes, a load of washing) but most of the time I just sit back and watch him adoringly. Sigh.

7. Charlie. The weirdest cat who ever did live.

blog love

I remember when I first discovered the world of blogs. It was an experience that was similar to falling down the rabbit hole.. the discovery of one led to the discover of another and before I knew it it was 2am and I had been introduced to a whole new world of clever, cool and crafty people.

Back then (just after Sophie was born, almost 6 years ago now) there seemed to be only a handful of really popular blogs that everyone knew about and followed. I can remember putting Sophie down to sleep, making a cup of tea and easily scrolling through my favourite blogs in about 10 minutes.

At the time, I was a new mum, I had just taught myself how to sew and I was slowly (really slowly) learning how to manage this whole mummy/ wife role that I had (happily) landed myself in. It was so nice to read about other mums out there in the same situation as me.. trying their best to live simple, happy lives but still burning dinners, unpicking sewing projects gone wrong at two in the morning and still finding themselves in their pyjamas at 4pm some days.
They were my kindred spirits.

Fast forward 6 years (and after a year or so break from the blogging world) I'm finding myself a little lost. My old favourites are still there but there are SO many new blogs and most of them are so, so good!
The bar has been raised while I have been gone!

Soo.. I want to know.. What are your favourite blogs? The ones you love and read most often?

Feel free to leave your own link too (if you have one) so I can pop over and say hello!

life lately

Sophie is back at school today after two weeks of school holidays. I had so many plans to do fun things over the holidays (you know.. the usual things.. museum, art gallery, zoo etc.) but we ended up taking it pretty easy and spending most of our days at home.
Whats that old saying about a messy house equals happy kids? Looking around at the moment -my kids must be pretty damn happy!